4th-Grade Motley Crew Invades Traction, Sings Jingle and Disappears

WAREHOUSE 127 - At approximately 9:00 am Friday morning, local advertising agency Traction Marketing Group was overtaken and held hostage by a horde of rambunctious little people claiming to be the 4th-grade class from Crossings Christian School.



According to witnesses, the throng of whippersnappers took full advantage of their innocent rosy-red cheeks and puppy dog eyes and overpowered unsuspecting agency principles. Once inside, the intruders quickly fell into an ominous striking position atop the warehouse staircase.

"They were just so cute, how could we not let them in?" remarked Marsha Ramée, Traction's Media Buyer, with a glazed-over countenance. "Little did we know the true intent of their arrival."

The intent of their arrival, it seems, was to temporarily slash agency productivity through any means necessary.

Tanner Tate, Creativist, arrived at the scene moments after the elementary school ninjas swept in like a cloud of smoke in the night. According to Tate, the horde began emitting guttural incantations that can only be described as surprisingly melodious for such an inexperienced ninja choir.

"You can call it Stockholm Syndrome, China Syndrome, or Irritable Bowl Syndrome, but when those kiddos started singing the BC Clark Jingle, I couldn't help but smile and mouth the words right along with them," Tate told reporters while in an all-out sprint to the bathroom. 

Fortunately for the school-skipping youths, the hullabaloo didn't conclude after the entrancing BC Clark Jingle recitation. Rather than leaving in peace and returning to the classroom, the saboteurs delivered an Emmy-worthy introduction for Jed's Bus Stop Forecast and successfully prolonged their freedom from education's cold, callous clutches.

"I've got a 16-gig iPod Touch filled to the brim," exclaimed a pale-faced 10-year-old who wished to remain anonymous. "If it'll keep me from having to do my multiplication tables, I'll start with Akon and spit rhymes all day long."

We have no idea what that means.

Following the staircase debauchery, Ramée and Traction Pres

ident Tyler Smith were coerced into giving agency tours. Among the tour stops were the design loft, the girls' side of the warehouse, and the guys' side of the warehouse.



During the tour, the mob watched intently as Artist Ryan Dowling created a logo right before their mobbish eyes. Several of the juveniles then surrounded Tate in his office and repeatedly pushed the YAHOO! button sitting feebly on his desk into submission.

"I don't even like YAHOO! Their business solutions product suite is, li

ke

, so inferior to Google's," grumbled one too-smart-for-her-own-good future CEO.






And then, just as swiftly and forcefully as they arri

ved, they were gone, leaving their captives to wonder how great it would be to be a 4th-grader all over again.

 

 

 

Friday, December 05, 2008

Comments

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
If you can't answer this, then you're either not human or do not deserve to post comments on our blog. Thank you!
securi_y:
privacy
© Traction Marketing Group    |     About Us     |     Portfolio     |     Our Blog     |     Contact Us